Falling Into The Comparison Trap - How To Build Real Self-Esteem
- Carehaven Initiative
- 4 days ago
- 3 min read
BY TARYNN OCAMPO
Have you ever gotten that feeling where everyone else seemed ahead of you or when people are living or doing things that are your most desired dreams? That's not jealousy, that's a humane feeling. In a society where people are constantly on their phones and active on online platforms, it is common for people to scroll through social media, only to feel like everyone around them is living a better, more successful life. This experience is extremely common in today’s world and is known as online comparison. This is the era where digital screens dominate people’s life, it’s easy - and almost automatic, to fall into the trap of comparing one’s life to another’s. Even though comparison may seem harmless at first, it can silently yet surely destroy one’s self-worth, self-esteem, and mental health. It can also deceive how people view themselves. Despite the fact that online comparison is a dangerous trap that is easy to fall into, there are simple yet effective ways to build self-worth and self-esteem even when digital comparability is prone in this screen-dominated era.
Origins and Roots of Online Comparison
Online comparison can occur in a variety of ways. One leading factor of online comparison is online facade. People are constantly on social media observing people’s posts frequently, but most of the time, social media only displays the best parts of people’s lives and sets unrealistic expectations. Furthermore, fear of missing out, more known as FOMO is another root of online comparison. FOMO enhances an individual’s sensitivity and insecurity to what others are doing. When a person sees others posting about their success, they may feel like they are missing out or falling behind. Lastly, the competition for fame. The act of competing for likes, comments, and followers acts as an origin for online comparability because it makes it seem like the more famous one person is, the better their life is portrayed on social media.
Psychological Effects of Online Comparison
Low self-esteem: Since online comparison feeds the concept of insecurity, it may make you question your own value, which over time leads to low self-esteem and low self-worth.
Vulnerability to depression: Digital comparison creates unrealistic standards and expectations, and when you feel like you can’t meet the standard, it can lead to hopelessness, a key factor in depression.
Deteriorated mental state: Constant comparison between others can lead to enduring negative thoughts and emotional exhaustion, which can lead to melancholy, feeling like a failure, anxiety, and serious emotional distress.
Poor view of body image: Social media often promotes heavily edited body standards. When you compare yourself to these unrealistic images, you begin to feel insecure and dissatisfied with your own bodies.
Guide to Developing Real and Lasting Self-Esteem
Be kind to yourself: It’s important for people to accept their flaws and mistakes, replace negative thoughts with encouraging ones, and be patient with themselves.
Recognize the positives in your life: Acknowledging and celebrating your achievements and successes in life, whether it be big or small can help build confidence and self-worth.
Look after yourself: Remember to take breaks, eat properly, and get enough rest. Prioritizing individuality helps protect one’s mental and emotional well-being.
Limit social media use: Spending too much time on social media can fuel unhealthy online comparisons. Setting boundaries such as time limits can allow people to stay focused on their own life.
Choosing Self-Worth Over Comparison
Even though social media is a way to connect with others more efficiently, it can also distort self-image through comparison. Real confidence and self-esteem isn’t gained by likes, comments, or followers, but from how positive we view and treat ourselves. Just remember, everyone is unique. You aren’t meant to be a copy of someone else, your uniqueness is your own strength.
Citations
Kayala, H., Madhu, P., & Werkun, E. (2023, August 31). Social Comparison on Social Media. OxJournal. https://www.oxjournal.org/social-comparison-on-social-media/
The Jed Foundation. (2023). Understanding Social Comparison on Social Media. The Jed Foundation. https://jedfoundation.org/resource/understanding-social-comparison-on-social-media/
Team CyberSmile. (2023, June 16). Exploring the Impact of Social Comparisons on Gen Z. Cybersmile.org. https://www.cybersmile.org/2023/06/16/exploring-the-impact-of-social-comparisons-on-gen-z/
Mind. (2022, August). Tips to improve your self-esteem | Mind, the mental health charity - help for mental health problems. Mind.org.uk. https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/tips-to-improve-your-self-esteem/
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